Date: Thu, 4 Nov 1999 17:35:34 -0800
To: rocket@bullwinkle.org
From: Norman Earl Jakes
Subject: Another Applicant
Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
Norman Earl Jakes (instantmillions@hotmail.com) on Thursday, November 4, 1999 at 17:35:34
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email: instantmillions@hotmail.com
realname: Norman Earl Jakes
age: 30-50
FLAW: Drunk driving convictions
MOTHER: Overcooks waffles
AUTHORS: Tom Clancy, Steven Spielberg, George Hayeduke
BANDS: Citizen's
AM
Shortwave
SONGS: Achey-Breaky Heart (remix), It's Electric, Monday Night Football Theme
MOVIES: Death Wish, Sudden Impact, The Story of Us
URLS: www.hateclinton.com
www.snipercountry.com
www.about.com
SUCCESS: A country homestead, with plenty of kids, pretty flowers, good fishing, where I can shoot trespassers on sight
FUCKUP: Forgot to set the parking brake on my pickup; sank in lake
ANIMAL: A grizzley bear (does that make me sound gay?)
HOWLONG: Must it be in that order?
WHENFIRST: Does my sister count?
I can't remember when I first kissed.
DRUGS: Coffee
Jolt
Beer
Wine
Liquor
Pot
Acid
Speed
Coke
Crack
Crank
PCP
(plus I used hard drugs once or twice)
MARRIED: This question is too personal
RELATIONSHIPS: When the judge issued the restraining order.
HAIRCOLOR: Kind of blond.
No.
Man-length
PONYTAIL: You mean on me?
FACIALHAIR: Yes
CRAZYTHINGS: Some people think it was crazy of me to ride my mini-bike blind drunk through the mall
VEGETABLE: A vegetable
JEALOUS: Park outside her house for a couple weeks
OTHERLIFE: I hope not.
Obviously.
MAGIC: Your not going to do any voodoo on me, are you?
PSYCHIC: No
PSYCHO: Yes
TATS: I fell off a railway bridge once. Unfortunately, it's not visible with my clothes on.
INSANE: Nope
MILITARY: I was a security guard once for 3 1/2 weeks
BURNINGMAN: I didn't see it when it came out. Is it on DVD yet?
REDPAINT: No, but this is going to be part of the deal?
SCIENCE: Tie: Snow tires / Pepper spray
WOMEN: Need for the toilet seat to be down
MEN: Speed limit is too low
SOCIETY: Why do I have to pay taxes exactly?
MILLION: House where nobody would bug me.
New pickup.
Tweezers.
QUITJOB: Duh!
DREAMCAR: Invisible to the police
MOTORCYCLE: Yes
INFLUENCE: Lee Iacocca
OTHERPEOPLESAY: He was quiet; kind of kept to himself
YOUSAY: Adventurer. Patriot. Man. God.
MAGS: The Atlantic Monthly
(just kidding)
I've been meaning to subscribe to something heavy like "Time" for quite a while now
COSTUME: I once came dressed as a girl!
(I was DEAD SEXY!)